April 17, 2014 Thursday
 Wednesday is my regular weigh in day at Weight Watchers. I made some excuse and did not go last night.  I've been un-determined and un-motivated about sticking to the program.  As a result, my weight loss has been...  s l o w!
I reactivated my membership in February 2014, I've lost 9 pounds and gained 3… so I've lost 6 pounds in 2 months…Not exactly a stellar performance.
  The question is why?  Why have I joined this program only to: not faithfully commit to working it?
I have not been able to answer that - yet.  More than likely, I am in denial about something, or avoiding something or I'm just so "addicted" to food that I talk myself into eating "just one more",  "this will be the last one"and I certainly tell myself that "tomorrow will be better".  I also make promises to myself that I'll track my food, I promise myself that I'll eat only food that will produce better results.

  What I hope, what I intend; will be a re-focusing of my efforts is this blog.  I remember hearing about someone else's journey-and denial about weight loss.  She finally realized, that she was only lying and cheating herself.
So let me say it here...

  I am lying to myself

 I am cheating only myself

   Now, it is time to switch my attitude and direction.  I realize I won't do this perfectly, but I commit to this, there will be no lies here.

Expect good, expect messy, expect silly, expect flaws but I intend to make this happen for myself!  

Here I go!  Honestly!!